25 and Counting

NaBloPoMo, taking the plunge… November 2, 2009

Filed under: CGM's,Family matters,insulin pumps,Uncategorized — Emilie @ 2:52 am

With NaBloPoMo starting today, I thought it may be a great way to get back into the daily grind of blogging.  A lot has happened this past year, and a lot has stayed the same.  Over the course of this coming month, I’d like to catch up on what’s going on in my corner of the DOC:

  • Got a new pump!  After a unintended pump vacation (aka – my Minimed Paradigm 722 beeped the fatal button failure error while I was on vacation, hence having to use a pen for the July 5th weekend), I decided to take Animas up on their offer of a Ping for the low price of $900.  I exchanged my Minimed for a $700 credit, hence my relationship with a new (waterproof) pump began.  I’ve been on it since August, and while I do miss the simplicity of the Minimed menu and bolus wizard, I really enjoy being able to stash the pump and bolus from the meter.  Oh, and the most important question – I got a green one! 
  • Got a new CGM!  After kicking my Paradigm 722 to the curb, it was time to evaluate the CGM issue.  I fear living without this technology, and honestly I had been losing my patience with my Minimed CGM.  More often than not, it was spitting out numbers way too far off from my meter.  When I calibrated to try to reconcile the two, it would send out CAL ERROR, followed by BAD SENSOR.  It would be so far off, that it would screech all night saying I am low, and upon checking my meter I never was under 90.  I ended up not wearing it for weeks at a time, and that is not acceptable!  I made the decision to switch to Dexcom, and have been amazed at the accuracy and length of time I can make a sensor last.  The one I am wearing now is on day 10, and still spitting out numbers within 20 points of my meter!  
  • Baby #2…While the decision to try for baby #2 via a gestational carrier was made, the process of making it all happen has proven to not be as easy as I thought it would be.  We discovered some fertility issues on my end, went through a successful cycle in August, and I had 3 eggs that fertilized and made it to blastocyst.  Our amazing carrier went through her portion of the cycle as well, and the first attempt did not work.  We are looking forward to the next round, and I am trying to stay positive and keep myself busy so as not to obsess over things I cannot control.  
  • Speaking of things I cannot control:  Our daughter is now 3 and a half, she is amazing and learning so much each day.  For only being 3, she has started showing a lot of interest in my diabetes.  She will often ask me if I am low if she sees me drinking juice, and will offer to help change my infusion sets for my pump.  I let her do the swabbing of the IV prep wipes.  She is so kind and thoughtful, I really don’t know how we got so lucky.  When I think of all the horrible things that have happened these past three years, she is certainly the one thing that I have in my life that makes all of this worth it.  

   Here’s to this coming month, good things to come, and catching up…


Doing better. August 15, 2008

Filed under: complications,Family matters — Emilie @ 1:28 am

Two weeks ago, I went to NYC to see a new retina specialist.  While, the recommendation was to do nothing about the chronic flashing I have in my good eye (meaning I have to live with a chronic flashing light for the rest of my life), the verdict was that a majority of cases like mine stay stable.  So I am hoping that luck will be on my side from now on, and I will try to remain positive about keeping the vision I have. 

While that is the physical side of things, I’ve been working hard on the emotional side as well.  I tried a new therapy technique a few weeks ago, and it has helped me get past this bad place where I’ve been stuck the past few months.  I highly recommend it for anyone dealing with images or events that are not resolving on their own.  It has been a really rough few weeks since the treatment, but I think I needed to hit rock bottom so I could come to terms with what has happened, and move on with the grieving process.  

The other big news is that the retina specialist said that carrying another pregnancy was unlikely to cause any more problems with my eyes.  I have been thinking very hard about this the past few weeks.  I know that I could probably do it again, but do I have the energy to?  And do I want to look back 30 years from now and wonder if complications that I have would have not happened had I not gotten pregnant again?  There are just so many doubts in my mind, and so I think that the easy out is surrogacy.  I can have another baby, and not have to worry about damage to my body, and the insane pressure of being diabetic and pregnant.  It feels so much better to say that there is a plan. 

So, I am trying to refocus myself on the coming year.  We are meeting with a reproductive endocrinologist next week to talk about a surrogate pregnancy.  I held my friend’s 3 month old baby today, and it felt so good.  I have been so consumed with everything that is going on with my health, that any image of a baby or pregnant woman has been so distressing.  It felt so good to be around a baby, and not spin into a series of thoughts about how I was going to have a second.  When I held my friend’s baby today, I thought about how much I wanted an addition to our family, and that is something to look forward to.


A big week… July 22, 2008

Filed under: complications,Family matters — Emilie @ 1:41 am
Tags: ,

This week is going to be a big one.  Physically and emotionally…

On Thursday, I am going to NYC for an appointment with another retina specialist.  This will be the 3rd opinion I’ve gotten in the past two years on my retinopathy.  Unfortunately, there is some traction on my left retina (after a vitrectomy last year, LOTS of laser, and avastin injections).  I am anxious about this appointment because I fear that the result may be more surgery.  Or worse, that nothing can be done.  This is my good eye I am working on, my right one had a bad detachment 2 years ago, and it doesn’t function well on its own.  

I’m also going to be asking this retina specialist about a second baby.  I think that I have come to the conclusion that even if he says there’s no reason for me not to get pregnant again, I may opt for other means to having baby #2.  I admit I am not in the best place emotionally right now, and I know that I need a lot of cash in my emotional bank to get me through a diabetic pregnancy.  With baby #1 going to preschool in the fall, getting potty trained (another challenge in iteself!), working full time, AND taking care of myself, I think I may be stretching myself too thin. 

So this appointment is a big deal.  I am hoping it will give me an idea of what the next year will mean for me.  Or not, so I can know and move on.