25 and Counting

Is anyone out there? June 3, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Emilie @ 1:43 am

Hello blogosphere.  I need help, I’m looking for an outlet for the past few years.  I have been going through complications from being pregnant, being diabetic for 25 years, or who knows what really caused it all – the moon and the stars aligning the wrong way?  It’s hard to think about. 

And it is so hard to think about how long this has been going on for.  Why is it still happening?  I keep asking what I did to deserve it, and there are no answers. 

I have a beautiful baby girl, and it isn’t enough.  I am making a huge effort to meet other Type 1’s, and create some more support in my life, but everyone seems to be faring better than me.  They get through their pregnancies, maybe have a little laser, and then go one to recover and have SECOND babies.  I am not going to be able to do that.  What did I do to deserve this?  

I am having a hard time getting starting here.  There are 25 years of pent up frustration, trial and error, and now eye complications that are clouding things over.  Maybe if I continue here, I can try to sort it all out. 

Sorry this is so lame, I am not sure how to verbalize it all.  I was hoping if I get started, and keep working on it, it’ll get easier  Maybe this is why I am so upset?   


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