25 and Counting

Life as a graph… June 25, 2008

Filed under: BG numbers,CGM's — Emilie @ 2:00 am
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Don’t get me wrong, this sensor is really great.  When I am creeping up, it alarms to tell me I have eaten too much, or given too little insulin.  When I am low, it alarms to tell me I am heading into dangerous territory.  I can sleep better knowing I will wake up conscious, or without a headeache from a prolonged high overnight. 

BUT, as nifty as this piece of technology is, it is not fun to downloan your bg stats, and see this:

Not pretty.  It makes me cringe…no wonder I feel like ass most days.  This pretty much sums up all of the roller coaster ups and downs I go through on a daily basis.  It is days like this that makes me feel like those target range numbers I program into my pump are a pipe dream.

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In search of new real estate… June 18, 2008

Filed under: CGM's,insulin pumps — Emilie @ 1:50 am

My pursuit of better bg numbers has led me to a real estate issue  I do not have enough stomach space to comfortably wear an infusion set and sensor in my stomach, AND have my pump clipped to my waist…Sommething had to give, so I have spent the past week experimenting with new sites for my infusion set.

I thought for sure, it would hurt to jab a big old infusion set into anything but my stomach, but I’ve been surprised.  I started last week with my leg.  It felt fine, and didn’t bother me at all, but got really red on day three.  (I won’t tell you how long I usually go in between site changes, it’s really not healthy.) 

So, on to the next leg.  This site went in over the weekend, and involved a couple of trips to our neighborhood pool.  I decided I was going to suck it up, and sport my pump accesories on the outside.  I typically have an inufsion set in my stomach, and my pump clipped to a the bottoms of a tankini, so it’s not too obvious.  But with the infusion set on my leg, and the tubing visible, it was a little scary.  I ended up doing it, and truth be told, in the kidie pool, parents are more focused on their kids than anyone’s mediccal devices, so I felt ok with it.

Enter night before last.  My leg site that i was so proud of was hurting.  It started out a little concerning in morning, then moved quickly to the anything above a 2 unit bolus would send shooting pains in my entire thigh category.  When I pulled it, a big blob of puss came gushing out (eeew, sorry).  I have never had an infusion set do this to me, and two days later there is still a welt in the spot that hurts to the touch.   

So I was back to square one…where else could I sstick one of these things?  I started thinking back to my childhood shots, and came up with my hip.  I busted out the IV prep wipe, cleaned the area, and jabbed it in.  Fortunately, my husband was near bc I could not figure out how to pull the needle out on my own.    With his help, my hip site has been holding steady for a few days now.  i think it will be good at the pool, too, since it conceals everything. 

So, I am pleased with my real estate venture so far.  I think I’ll come up with something that allows me to wear this darned sensor and be a bit more comfortable. 

 

Attempting to get back on the wagon… June 10, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Emilie @ 1:51 am

The minilink sensor is in, I have been checking more, catching highs before they become too high.  That said, my numbers still suck.  I spent most of the day trying to bring down a persistent high, only to be foiled by a bad low before dinner.  Now, of course, my CGM graph is escalating up towards the buzzing range.  Right when it is time to go to sleep, of course.

In better news, I did give in and up my basal rates.  It just didn’t make sense that I’ve been high for two days straight.  No amount of bolus brings it down.  Why do I seem to go in these cycles?  I guarantee a month from now, I’ll battle some lows nonstop, then go down on my basals, only to repeat things full circle. 

I’m just not one of those diabetics that stays on track.  It is frusstrating, but I am dedicated to working on it.  I had such great control while pregnant, my A1c’s in the 5’s.  I just need to find the motivation to do it again. 

 

Diabetes Vacation… June 7, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Emilie @ 2:28 am
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I have been on a diabetes vacation the past few days.  Only testing 2 or 3 times a day, persistent highs that won’t come down, and my minilink cgm is getting lonely sitting on my nightstand.  I need to wake up tomorrow, put that darned sensor in, and get back on track. 

I know I can do better.  Why don’t I?  I think it’s easier not to test sometimes when I know I am high.  Sometimes it’s just easier not to see the bad number show up on the meter  If I don’t test, it’s not there.  And if I don’t put in that sensor, I don’t have to hear the alarms confirming I am not doing a good job.   

But it is there.  I wake up high, and I feel like I haven’t slept.  I have a bad mood swing, and I know it’s because my numbers could be better.  I need to get back on the band waggon.

Ok, I am putting a sensor intomorrow morning.  My vacation is over. 

 

Is anyone out there? June 3, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Emilie @ 1:43 am
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Hello blogosphere.  I need help, I’m looking for an outlet for the past few years.  I have been going through complications from being pregnant, being diabetic for 25 years, or who knows what really caused it all – the moon and the stars aligning the wrong way?  It’s hard to think about. 

And it is so hard to think about how long this has been going on for.  Why is it still happening?  I keep asking what I did to deserve it, and there are no answers. 

I have a beautiful baby girl, and it isn’t enough.  I am making a huge effort to meet other Type 1’s, and create some more support in my life, but everyone seems to be faring better than me.  They get through their pregnancies, maybe have a little laser, and then go one to recover and have SECOND babies.  I am not going to be able to do that.  What did I do to deserve this?  

I am having a hard time getting starting here.  There are 25 years of pent up frustration, trial and error, and now eye complications that are clouding things over.  Maybe if I continue here, I can try to sort it all out. 

Sorry this is so lame, I am not sure how to verbalize it all.  I was hoping if I get started, and keep working on it, it’ll get easier  Maybe this is why I am so upset?